By Rick Banas of Gardant Management Solutions
What Baby Boomers say they want and what they are likely to do when it comes to the issues associated with the end of life are two different things, Tim Prosch told us during the session he was conducting at ALFA15: The Senior Living Executive Conference.
The session was designed to provide attendees with concepts and techniques to help residents have what he calls “The Other Talk” with their children– the talk that comes after the talk about the one about the birds and bees.
Tim’s conclusion based on the hundreds of interviews he has conducted with Baby Boomers is they never want to put their children through what happened to them. Boomers do not want their children to suffer through the same “frustrations, arguments and unpleasant surprises they themselves experienced with their parents.
Yet, Tim cited a recent study by AARP that indicates that 75% will never talk with their children and 75% of adult children will never talk with their parents.
Unfortunately, most families wait to talk until there is a crisis when options are limited, time frames are tight and everyone is under stress.
Here are a couple of tips that Tim provided to help get parents started and have the talk with their children before there is a crisis when the situation is calm and normal:
Change the dynamic of the discussion from talking about the end-of-life to talking about the rest of your life and how you can get the most out of your time.
Look at this as an opportunity to take charge and actively plan versus surrendering control.
Parents can make sure their children are aware of their personal goals and wishes. They can make sure their children fully understand what the parent wants to happen. They can discuss “what if” scenarios.
To help guide parents through the process of talking with their children about the rest of their life, Tim has authored a book called “The Other Talk” and operates a website by the same name.
In the book, Tim puts forth a comprehensive, pro-active approach designed to guide parents through the decisions and actions that need to be taken. The book also includes short stories that serve as catalysts to help parents get started and to prep for the talk.
One of the chapters in the book guides you through a discussion about housing, including continuing to live in your current house; living with your children; sharing a house with other older adults; and moving into a retirement or assisted living community.
Tim recognizes that there are all kinds of reasons to build a wall of procrastination.
My advice is not to delay prepping for and having “The Other Talk” with your children, getting all of the documents you should have in order; and focusing your attention on how you can get the most out of the rest of your life.
As Tim says, your children will thank you for it.
All affordable assisted living communities managed by Gardant Management Solutions are certified and surveyed by the Illinois Department of Healthcare and Family Services. All assisted living communities are licensed and surveyed by the Illinois Department of Public Health.
“Gardant Management Solutions is the leading provider of assisted living in Illinois
and one of the 20 largest providers of assisted living in the United States.”
What are your thoughts? Leave a comment and let us know.
